A failed attempt at the fort…

So I have now moved to the glorious French, Mediterranean town of Collioure… in an effort to get away from the horrors and carnage of Berlin…. And what do I find when I get here? That it is chock a block full of delicious carnage all on its own! Yes! Medieval port of some renown, Napoleonic wars, and… occupied by the Germans during WWII. Probably the best damn posting in the entire Wehrmacht, if I do say so myself! I think Hans and Fritz thought they had died and gone to heaven… balmy weather, delicious wine, and azure seas! Oh the happiness!

Did I mention the wine? 😀


Now, Fort St. Elme presides over Collioure, and it has been at me like Poe’s Tell Tale Heart. I just wanted to get up there! To conquer it. To make it my War Walking bitch! MUAHA!

TODAY WAS THE DAY! but… I didn’t make it.


Yes. If you look at that picture, you will see the windmill? Halfway between scenic town and scenic fort? Because like a total boss, I took the hardest way up to the fort and I couldn’t make it.

IMG_2931It may not look so steep, but let me tell you, that was thigh-shakingly agonising.

Because when I was war walking in Berlin? Yeeeah. No hills. Berlin is flat. This? OH MAI GAWD! Those spritely French soldiers of yesteryear had thighs of steel. In fact… this town is where the modern French army does their commando training… I have seen the odd steely, uniform-clad, military thigh in my daily too-ing and fro-ing.


You wanted a picture, didn’t you? DENIED! 🙂

So I got to the windmill. Then I walked halfway to Port Vendres to the Lidl store. Not my biggest war walk, but certainly the steepest!

IMG_2929Though there was a nice view of the town from the moulin. (windmill, Darlings! We at War Walks try to keep hip with the local lingo!)

And now, to the good stuff!

This is your training. Check it out!

It is way off on the temp. Is 22c. Went up 181 m tho!!!

When Thu, 24 Oct 9:21
Where Rue de la Démocratie
Workout Free
How did it go Didn’t make the fort…. Barely made the windmill. Omfg it is steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Workout Time 00:54:40
Total Time 01:12:00
Total Distance 4.32 km
Feeling Tired
Average Pace 12:39 /km
Average Speed 4.74 km/h
Total Calories Burned 552
Average Cadence 56
Total Steps 6237
Average Stride Length 0.69 m
Climb 181 m
Descend -178 m
Weight Thunderous thighs of Jello
Shoes crocskin, 69 km
Fastest Song Call Me Maybe-Carly Rae Jepsen
Weather 14 °C, 9km/h N, 82%
Track Points 410

Sent by iSmoothRun

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